I worked on my self portrait, and I really struggled, I chalk it up to body dysmorphia. it’s hard for me to make peace with who I am sometimes. However I think this is a really good exercise in self acceptance. I’ve been hating myself for far too long. Mostly because of the fat thing. It’s actually well known that yo-yo dieting is totally unhealthy for you, that being thin is unstainable for most people, and constant dieting is actually an eating disorder, where your body isn’t getting the nutrients to survive, and take care of itself.
check out the:
https://www.fatdoctor.co.uk/ (He has the facts and the studies to back this up. )
So, I’m on the road to loving myself, to working out to get stronger but not exercising to hurt my body, to eating healthy foods, to understanding when I’m hungry, and when I’m thirsty. To not eating when I feel emotionally unbalanced and instead working on regulating my feelings by finding other means of comfort. Working magic, and painting are definitely two great sources of comfort for me.
Astrology Notes: The Morning starts with a T-square between the Moon in Pisces, Venus in Virgo and Mars in Gemini. T-squares inspire us to make a change, we are pushed to a point where we’re not comfortable doing the same old thing. Venus in Virgo asks for perfection in love and relationships, asks that we take our time getting things right, Mars in Gemini wants to push things along, wants a quick fix, is not so concerned with perfection. The Moon in Pisces makes us hungry for emotional connection, for sensitivity over practical relationship stuff. How do we navigate this? It’s good to find some kind of middle ground. Do the practical stuff, but make space for compassion and feeling, and allow for play-time where we’re lead by curiosity.
The Pisces Moon connects with magical and wonderful Neptune, and sextiles Uranus in Taurus this afternoon, so we’re given some incentive to get creative, to work things out internally by shifting our system of values.
Art: this is my work in progress, I think I’ll glaze it because I’m standing with my back to the sun, so I need to be in shadow, I’m going to wait till it dries so I can add yet another layer.
I think the self-portrait will be quite delightful Lydia. It is a good exercise for painters to do them, and somehow there is always something that reveals itself in the finished painting. I must look up the Fat Doctor. Food shouldn't have a complicated relationship with living things, but with humans it seems to be a huge issue doesn't? I think many of us struggle with eating, acknowledging the reasons for it definitely is a starting point.